So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
