Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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