You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
