Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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