How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize