I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize