In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
