UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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