I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
