sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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