You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
