Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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