So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
