i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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