I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
