her vagine was all disorganized.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize