i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
