Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
