At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
