he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
