bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize