Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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