just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I had to cum in my sink.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
