hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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