I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize