sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
