Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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