I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
