I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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