Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Randomize
