i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
