the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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