I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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