Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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