Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
