He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
