Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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