This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
should my penis look like a turkey
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They have beer where we have blood.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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