I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
