he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
