If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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