So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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