when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize