idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
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he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....