ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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