So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
