Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...