she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.