I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
