these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
