Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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