There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
