omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
