I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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