his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
