Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
