I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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