I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I understand Curling. That high.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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