Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
