i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize